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I am exhausted this week! After being home from work for 19 days (due to doctor's orders and spring break), I went back. It wasn't bad, for the most part. The only part that was bad was the heat. We hit over 80 degrees this week around here, and working in an almost 50-year old school with no A/C, believe me, I felt that heat all the way. It was bad. I have a fan in my classroom, but it didn't do much to help this big ole' pregnant lady cool down. By Thursday, I was sending students to the nurse to get me ice packs! Other than that, I liked being back there. I missed my students (who I really love) and I missed my co-workers too (they are the best). It was nice to be back into the world again.
We spent last weekend (Easter weekend) with John's family and had a great time. John's parents gave us money to order Rambo's mattress and to pay for his crib. We ordered the mattress on Monday and it was here by Friday! It's a Natural Mat Coco Mat crib mattress. Hopefully, Rambo finds it to his liking.
There was also some sadness this week. Wednesday, April 27, marked what would have been Peanut's due date. I was more upset than I thought I would be. It was really hard. I know that I have a beautiful boy inside of me now, and I would not trade him for anything, but I miss my other baby too. I think John feels conflicted about Peanut sometimes. It's obvious that he still loves and misses Peanut, but I think he feels guilty if he gets sad--like he is betraying Rambo. Those are feelings that I have all the time too.
Is it OK to feel sad and miss a baby that you lost so early when God has given you a blessing that is right here, kicking and rolling inside of you, loving you already?
I think most people think it's stupid to think about, or I am being over-the-top by still talking about it, but that was my baby, is still my baby, and I miss him/her. Happy Birthday, Peanut.
The Weekly Survey!
How Far Along: 25 weeks, 5 days
Sex: boy
Size of baby: See above, I guess. I had a very quick ultrasound this week, but she didn't measure him.
Other things baby is up to: As he gets bigger, his heartbeat is getting louder. In fact, it is now audible with a stethoscope, and may be audible by putting an ear to my belly! The formation of tiny capillaries is giving Rambo a healthy pink glow. He's also soaking up my antibodies, getting the immune system ready for life outside the womb. Rambo's eyes are forming too; I wonder if they'll be blue or green.
Total Weight Gain/Loss: +10 (total). Dr. L didn't mention it, so I guess that is OK.
Movement: Lots. He was jumping on what felt like my bladder before lunch at work the other day. Totally weird.
Sleep: I'm falling asleep everywhere.
Symptoms: I'm hot, tired, and emotional.
Cravings: Sweets. Sugar and I are old lovahs.
Aversions: None. Feed me, Seymour.
Maternity Clothes: Mostly. Still in regular sweatpants and huge t-shirts around the house.
Belly Button: A widening innie. I can fit 2 fingers in my belly button right now, it is so stretched out. Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
Milestones: I passed the 1-hour glucose tolerance test! This means I do not have gestational diabetes, which is super good news for a chunkster who loves candy. There are also 100 days left until my due date! Woo hoo!
Looking forward to: The furniture is coming next Thursday, and I am eager to see his nursery come together.
What I Miss: Diet Coke, now that it's hot. I was never a big soda drinker, so this is weird. I am also missing sleeping on my stomach so much!
Next appointment: May 10th for a visit with the MFM Specialist (high-risk Dr.) for a follow-up to our problem a few weeks ago (see 22 weeks) and for a growth scan. That should be a fun ultrasound since they have level II machines.
Times I used the Doppler in the last week: 0
Weekly bump pic: Large and in charge. And yes, there is only one in there, and he has measured normal up to this point.
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